The Winter Isles Read online

  For Colin.

  Coisichidh sinn eadar dà thonn far nach beir am muir oirnn.

  ‘Coisichidh Sinn’, Iain Mac a’ Ghobhainn

  We will walk between two waves where the sea will not reach us.

  ‘We Will Walk’, Iain Crichton Smith

  CONTENTS

  Part 1

  1122 ~ SOMERLED

  EIMHEAR

  1124 ~ SOMERLED

  EIMHEAR

  1125 ~ SOMERLED

  EIMHEAR

  1125 ~ SOMERLED

  1126 ~ SOMERLED

  EIMHEAR

  1128 ~ SOMERLED

  1130 ~ SOMERLED

  EIMHEAR

  1130 ~ SOMERLED

  1131 ~ SOMERLED

  EIMHEAR

  1133 ~ SOMERLED

  1134 ~ SOMERLED

  1135 ~ EIMHEAR

  1138 ~ SOMERLED

  Part 2

  1138 ~ RAGNHILD

  1138 ~ SOMERLED

  RAGNHILD

  SOMERLED

  EIMHEAR

  RAGNHILD

  1140 ~ SOMERLED

  EIMHEAR

  1148 ~ SOMERLED

  1153 ~ SOMERLED

  1153 ~ SOMERLED

  RAGNHILD

  SOMERLED

  EIMHEAR

  1155 ~ SOMERLED

  1156 ~ SOMERLED

  1156 ~ SOMERLED

  1157 ~ SOMERLED

  EIMHEAR

  1157 ~ SOMERLED

  RAGNHILD

  1157 ~ SOMERLED

  EIMHEAR

  EIMHEAR

  RAGNHILD

  EIMHEAR

  1157 ~ SOMERLED

  1160 ~ SOMERLED

  RAGNHILD

  1164 ~ SOMERLED

  HISTORICAL NOTE

  Part 1

  1122

  SOMERLED

  How long had he been there?

  Four days. A lifetime. Time stretched impossibly, bleeding slowly into the flat horizon. He sat perched on his rock, scanning. Nothing. A seal popped its head up and seemed to smile at him. How comical, to be stuck on this tiny rock. How absurd not to swim off, with a casual flick of a tail.

  ‘Bastard!’ he shouted at the seal. ‘Bastard!’ It slipped under the ruffled grey sea.

  ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘Come back. Come back.’ He felt the weight of his solitude descend like a westerly squall.

  The tide was out now, weed rippling across black rock where the sea had been. He should look for more food, though he had circumnavigated this fucking rock endlessly, stripping it bare. Limpets gouged out and forced down his gagging throat; mussels crushed under rocks so that the shells splintered into the rubbery flesh.

  His stomach growled with hunger and nausea; he could no longer tell them apart. Most of what he had eaten had run right through him, streaming brown back into the sea.

  He stood, the sudden movement sending him reeling like a drunkard. Light-headed with emptiness and misery. He could see right round the island, standing. A rock, really, with green scrub clinging obstinately to serrated black edges, and lichen creeping up the higher stones.

  Boats had passed by. But they had been small craft – fishermen’s curraghs – hogging the shore like he should have done. Deaf to his wailing; blind to his waving. No deep-water craft. What would he do, anyway, if he saw a Norse knarr, kitted out for a sea voyage, its screaming prow beast turning empty eyes on him? Beg them for water and mercy, or sink into the hollows of the rock and pray they didn’t see him?

  The boy had witnessed the Northmen’s mercy. Last summer, he and the priest were out hunting when they came across their leavings at a village high up the peninsula. A sheltered spot beneath a crag, with a waterfall streaming down its jagged face. They were far enough inland to fancy themselves safe, poor bastards. Stripped and flayed, burned and raped. Some left to twitch, skinless, in the sun’s heat while everywhere the midges swarmed and eddied in blood-drunk tides.

  Afterwards, he had wept. Father Padeen had laid a hand on his shoulder and talked of souls and judgement. But the boy had wept for his own fascination with the horror, for the compulsion to look, to savour, where he should have been repelled.

  Overhead, a gull shrieked. He looked across at the ruin of his boat, where it lay cracked open on the low-tide rocks like an egg. White water hissed around the split planks; the once taut hide of its skin was limp and wet, trailing in the waves.

  He remembered the fierce joy of the wind at his back, and the island hovering beyond the steep curve of his bow wave. He remembered thinking, I can weather this, and the sense of mastery – the sea and the wind bending to him. He smiled now, to think of it. The gods were watching, laughing at his arrogance. Mocking him. The first scrape of wood on rock threw him to his knees. He held on to the planks as they broke and split. Spitting salt water and curses, the spray blinding him.

  And now, he thought, here I am. Will I die here? Across the Sound he could see the mainland. On the cliff, crooked trees bunched together, reeling perpetually backwards in surrender to the wind. The slopes curled around the bay opposite, cradling the dunes that were so familiar to him. In that cleft on the left, he’d first kissed a girl.

  They had played at going Viking, he and his friends, hiding and rolling through those sandy hummocks. He smiled, a little bitterly, to think of their innocence. Even the most inventive of the gang’s insect maimers could not have dreamt of the Vikings’ leavings in that village under the crag.

  Standing, he swayed against the wind. He barely noticed it. A boy bred on this sea expects his hair to whip from his head, expects the sand to blow in his face like midge bites. He stretched and yawned, his dry lips cracking painfully. Perhaps I’ll die here, he thought. Thirteen years old, and to die in ignominy.

  He imagined his bones bleaching white in the sun and salt spray, like the gannets on the beach or a lamb trapped in a fold of the rock. Would his soul float to heaven? Or to the warm hearths of Helgjafell, the Holy Mountain? Not Valhalla for him, at any rate. Not yet.

  Sitting alone on his rock, he let his mind range across the gods competing for his soul: the white Christ of his father and the warrior lords of his mother. He was strung between two certainties, like linen flapping on the line. Hanging between two faiths, the boy thought, threw up the weaknesses in both. Perhaps bones were all that counted after all. They were the essence, the bare picked bones, and the rest so much weaving.

  There was, the boy decided, only one sure, proven immortality. When a man died, he lived on in the minds of those who remembered him. Or in the songs of those who did not. But I have no songs, he thought, no name to skip down generations.

  He shivered, lost in the misery of dying nameless.

  ‘Fool,’ he said aloud, shaking himself like a wet dog, and looked again for a ship. If I could swim, I would chance the rip tides, he thought. Better to die trying than slowly of the thirst and the boredom.

  To the west, where the sun was beginning to set, some ugly clouds were bunching. He longed for rain, and feared it. He was cold enough out here at night without being wet. The golden autumn was a dry one – days between rainfall instead of the usual hours. He’d sucked the green stuff for moisture, but his throat was raw and his tongue lolled huge and dry.

  At the top of the rock was a pool of water, which was once fresh, before time and the gulls had fouled it. He’d disdained it on the first day, and on the second. By the third he eyed it, and on the fourth he dreamt of it, for all that it was creamy with the birds’ dropping. Thirsty was not a word vast enough to cover it.

  The seal’s head popped up in front of him, watching in that way they had. Wise souls trapped in playful bodies. It rested there, calmly bobbing, only its fathomless brown eyes and sleek grey pate above the waves.


  ‘Hello,’ said the boy. ‘I’m sorry to have shouted.’

  The seal, speechless, watched him.

  ‘Answer me this, seal. Should I drink the droppings? What matters most? Pride or life? What is pride worth, if no one is watching?

  ‘The boys will call me Shit Guzzler. What if that becomes my name? Not The Mighty, or Fierce Beard, or Bloodaxe. And what if they don’t know and I do, seal? What matters most – the name you are given, or the one you call yourself in the night?’

  He paused and held out a hand, as if trying to coax the seal further inshore. The seal floated casually on the swell.

  ‘But to die on this fucking rock through fear of name-calling seems a poor enough way to end it. That’s no path to Valhalla, seal. And we should do something with life, this life, before we seek heaven, should we not?’

  The seal, seeming bored, slipped under the water, and the boy sat on his haunches, watching. Sure enough, the seal bobbed up again, a little closer, so that the boy could see the particular brown of his staring eyes.

  ‘So I ask you,’ said the boy. ‘Here I am on this rock. Am I the same boy as the one on land? Do the same codes apply if you’re wholly, entirely alone?’

  The seal’s head seemed to jerk sideways, and the boy looked up to the horizon. The weather was swooping in on him. He could see the sun and rain playing tag across the sea, streaking it blue here, grey there, so that alone on the rock he felt like a spectator at the edge of the world. Clouds scudded overhead, dropping lower and lower until at last they engulfed him. Barely a rain, though; just a damping. A kissing rain, his mother called it. He raised his face to it and opened his mouth, letting the drizzle spritz his chapped lips. Barely enough for a swallow, but a blessed, glorious relief. He put out his tongue and recoiled from the pure salt of his falling tears.

  ~~~

  They were following the gulls, the brothers from the Point. It was a desperate business to come this far out when the clouds were skimming the sea. But on shore there were eight hungry mouths open like gasping nestlings pushing them on to chase the herring.

  They neared Scurry’s Rock, slow and careful, the younger conning from the bow. They had worked together too long for words. An incline of the head, a jerk of a finger was all it took for the elder to jiggle the steering oar. This patch bristled with underwater rocks, sharp and malevolent. The boat crept forward, close-reefed and cautious.

  Inside a new cloud they blinked against the wetness, droplets falling on their searching faces like dew. The world seemed muffled white; the slapping of the sharp waves against wood, the rush and suck of the tide on the rocks, the cackling gulls. Beyond the dampened sound came something new. A thin bark, like a wounded seal pup.

  The elder watched the back of his brother’s head as it cocked to one side. His hair was frazzled by the damp, springing in crinkled clumps from its long plait.

  ‘What—’ began the elder.

  ‘Shh.’ The younger shook his head, his impatience clear.

  The barking fell into the silence between them. This time, the sound took shape. ‘Help. Help me.’ A thin, cracked whisper.

  ‘Jesus,’ whispered the younger.

  ‘Mary and Joseph.’ They both reached for the hollow at the base of their throats where Thor’s hammers used to lie, before the priest crushed them between two giant rocks.

  When they hauled the boy into the boat, he gaped soundlessly at them, his parched mouth working. The younger brother held a flask of water to his lips, and the boy drank, spluttering fast.

  ‘Thank you,’ he said. The skin was drawn tight across his face. At first they only noticed his swollen, black lips, with cracks so deep you could see to the red beneath. But as he spoke, they looked at him, front on. The younger brother reached for his missing hammer as the boy turned his sun-bleached face on them. His green eyes held them, perfectly still. A man’s eyes staring from a sun-speckled boy’s face.

  The brothers glanced at each other. The boy looked, like them, a half-blood. A foreign Gael. The reddish hue of the Gael leavened by the yellow of the north. ‘Take me to my father,’ said the boy. ‘He will reward you.’

  ‘But our catch, boy,’ said the elder, thinking of his wife. His brother smiled, thinking of her too, and the tongue on her if they came home bare-handed.

  The boy stared at him; a level green stare.

  ‘Our catch,’ the elder mumbled again, drawing his arm around in a wide arc as if to point out that this was, in fact, a fishing boat. The boy ignored his arm, staring at him until the older man shrugged and looked at his brother.

  The younger asked: ‘Who is your father?’

  ‘Gillebrigte. Son of Gilleadoman.’ They drew sharp breaths. ‘You know where to find him?’

  They nodded in unison. The look on their faces, like brothers who had fished for herring and caught a shark, made him smile. His grinning seemed to unnerve them, so the boy lay down on the nets and turned his face to the sky, the tension and fear leaking out of him. His father’s name was like a talisman; a wind to carry him home.

  He was cold, and wet and tired. The boat, a scrap of sail to keep her manageable, drifted into a patch of blue sea and sky. Lying on his back, he watched the clouds, higher now, stream through the sky. That one looked like a dragon, he thought, the wisping cloud trails its smoky breath. He heard the two men whispering to each other.

  One, the grizzled elder, looked at some point behind the boy’s right ear. ‘We will take you, lord,’ he said. ‘Aye.’

  The boy felt a blanket come over him. It was rough, and reeked of herring. He smiled as he closed his eyes, anticipating the warmth creeping back into his limbs. Safe now. A song floated across the waves from his past, the harmony sung by the creaking of the boat and the rustling of the sail.

  His old nurse, with her thick accent of the Antrim glens, singing Patrick’s song, the deer’s cry:

  I arise today

  Through the strength of heaven:

  Light of sun,

  Radiance of moon,

  Splendour of fire,

  Speed of lightning,

  Swiftness of wind,

  Depth of sea,

  Stability of earth,

  Firmness of rock.

  He heard speech, breaking through the remembered honey hues of his nurse’s song. The voice, harsh as pebble scratching on pebble, said from a great height: ‘And if you’re sleeping, little lord, how shall we name you to your father?’

  ‘Somerled,’ he said. ‘My name is Somerled.’

  ~~~

  ‘Lie back.’

  ‘Jesus wept.’

  ‘Boy!’

  ‘Sorry, Mother,’ he said, not sure if he was apologizing for the blasphemy, or the invocation of the Lord’s name.

  Somerled watched her in the light from the fire as she bustled around. They were at the warm end of the hall, where the big fire was perpetually burning and pots of liquid hissed and steamed. He lay on a shaggy rug, and he idly picked and stroked at the strands, twisting and plaiting them.

  Her hair was escaping, as usual, from its long plait. There was flour on her dress, and charcoal on her forehead. She was smudged and smeared, flustered and competent all at once. Her face, reddened from the fire and the thin threads of broken veins in her cheeks, was so familiar that, before the island, he had forgotten to look at it. But the days on the island seemed to have brought everything to a sharper focus, as if, before, he’d been watching the world through a skin of falling water. He looked at the yellow of her hair, and the freckles on her nose; the fresh lines scratched around her eyes and the crease in her forehead made from frowning – usually in concentration, not anger.

  She muttered to herself in that way she had, a tangle of Gaelic commentaries, half-snatched songs in her native Norse, smatterings of proverbs. ‘Now, where was it… And the moon sang on the … Oh, here it is … Now then … And the great jarl came …’

  ‘Mother!’

  ‘Hmm?’ She stopped to stir something,
and taste it. Turning to the slave girl, Aedith, she nodded. Aedith’s pale, thin face transformed itself with a smile so bright that Somerled felt an answering grin rising and his mother was moved to chuckle.

  ‘How long must I lie here?’

  ‘Until I and Father Padeen judge you are well enough,’ she said.

  ‘Can I not judge?’

  ‘No. Eat this.’

  She handed over a bowl of stew, thick with meat and barley, and he fell on it. How he had eaten and drunk since the fisher brothers brought him home, carrying him up the stony beach at the head of the loch to the sound of screaming and weeping from the women. Her reaction to his being missing, and the shock of his return, was to feed him. She had slaughtered a hogget, and in the past few days they had steadily eaten it. First its livers, quick-cooked on sticks in the fire while the legs roasted and crisped. The smell filled every crevice of the hall with a promise so glorious that grown warriors near wept with hunger. Somerled slept, fill to sicking point with water from the burn, and the smell of the lamb sank into his dreams, so that he was riding a giant sheep through a bog when his sister woke him.

  They had eaten the legs with the rump of his father’s war-band – the old and the tired ones – left here to guard the family while his father and the rest were off scouting.

  He drained the last of the stew, biting a sliver of meat off the bone and sucking the marrow. He began to entertain the possibility that he might, finally, be full. Sated. Replete. He had thought, over the past two days, that he could never eat or drink enough; that he must be tied to this bed forever, swallowing and licking, quenching and devouring. But now, finally, he was full.

  He lay back, warm and sleepy. His limbs felt heavy, as if they had finally lost that hollow brittleness bred by the island. His mother came over and sat next to him, crouching down on her haunches. She pushed his hair back from his forehead, and smiled. Near-death, the boy decided, was reason enough to allow this tenderness. At least when no one was watching. He grabbed her hand and kissed it. He could feel her bones shift under the skin as he pressed her hand.

  ‘I thought we’d lost you,’ she said.

  ‘Sorry.’

  ‘No matter, though you are lucky your father was not here. Who would be a woman, hey, my darling? We’re schooled from the womb to accept that our children may die, and I, who have escaped it so far, found that all the preparing is as naught. The world was made of grief when you were gone.’